Life is so unpredictable, and sometimes really meaningless as well.
You wonder what you're living for, why you actually put up with the bad stuff life throws you. Is it worth the good times you live for?
And when you think you have made good friends who laugh with you all the time, you realise it ain't enough, because those same friends will run away when you cry. They aren't ready for your tears.
Then maybe all of a sudden, you are excluded from a group. Be it cliques, teams, circle of trusts, whatever. Then you are left alone to fend for yourself.
Or you discover that those friends you trusted are not exactly what you thought they were.
You think someone, or some people, are the one(s). You keep your hopes high, and they escalate. But when time passes, you find that they one day crash. Bang. And you end up with something like my left arm, all limp and useless.
People who backstab you, why don't they just say it in your face so you can just leave and join the outcasts. People who leave you out without sitting you down to talk it out; telling you at the last minute you didn't cut it.
I'm scared. I miss my gang. And gorgor. Love you guys, always. And the seniors too.
It hits you when you least expect it, the stupid-est stuff. Like leukemia.
Who are you, what are you, why are you screwing up my life, and what do you get out of it?
If you hate me and want to bitch about me, go ahead. Just let me know when I'm not wanted, because it sucks to be there around you too. You don't bitch with someone, and later bitch ABOUT the same person, do you. Sucker.
I seldom confide, because I think its a sign of weakness, not because I'm insensitive and don't give a damn.
Jolyn Haiyiu Fiona Xuefen Iris Bixue and dearest Jie David Darren Damon Denise You guys are great. I love you all.
