9:03 PM
I need a shoulder. How I wish you were here.
Whatever, have it your way.
I hate you. Enough to the extent I'll agree to move out of the house. Any time now. I don't know where I'll go, what I'll do, how I do it, but I'll manage. It probably doesn't matter to you how I live my life anyway. As long as you don't have to see my face, or my room, or anything pertaining to me, right?
Then you come up with your fugly shit reasons and assumptions and whatnots, and throw ridiculously insane accuses at me. When I reason it out with you, I'm stubborn and being rude by retorting. When I don't, I simply don't give a damn. Or so you say. Giving you face, saving me my precious time so I don't have to sleep an average 2 hours everyday, stopping myself from starting another of those stupid fights, preventing myself from losing control and throwing everything within my reach at you. All these, and you say I don't care.
Seriously, I'm asking the question I asked you umpteen times. What can I say?
When I ask you what am I supposed to say, you tell me not to act dumb. Has it ever occured to you I mean everything I say or ask? That it is entirely because I have no idea what it is you want to hear from me? Or is it because you yourself do not expect or even know of the existence of a satisfactory answer. Guilt-play, too bad it's not working. Raffles has thought me well, you biatch. No way am I giving in without questioning. You may have authority, but I guess I'm just smarter.
And please don't come insulting my religion. Anything but that, and just because you're an insensitive asshole doesn't mean you can spam me with such religious intolerance.
I know my rights, I know my limits. I tread on them, you stick to yours. Peace
I was planning on wishing you a happy birthday in my blogpost today, on the way home while stoning on the bus. Too bad you make me feel like wishing you a very horrible year ahead. I'm contemplating, but I doubt I'll do that. Your terrible wrath might just finish me off that way.
Feeling blue, when I'm trying to forget
This feeling that I miss you
Feeling green, when the jealousy swells
And it won't go away in dreams
Feeling yellow I'm confused inside
A little hazy but mellow when I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours creeps into my mind
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light You're the light
When I close my eyes, I'm colour blind
You make me colour blind
Feeling red, when you spend the night out
With your friends and not me instead
Feeling black, when I think about
All of the things that I feel I lack
Feeling jaded, when it's not gone right
All the colours have faded, then I feel your eyes on me
Feeling fine, sublime
When that smile of yours creeps into my mind
Nobody told me it feels so good
Nobody said you'd be so beautiful
Nobody warned me about your smile
You're the light You're the light
When I close my eyes I'm colour blind
You make me colour blind.
Blinded by the light you shine, the colours fade completely
Blinded by you everytime I feel your smile defeat me
I'm colour blind
I just can't deny this feeling
Thanks for the song. You always use lyrics to make me feel special. (:
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So today was a bad day, after having slept 3 hours last night and one hour the night before, my eyes are barely able to keep open now. I'm blogging because I feel the need to spill. And obviously someone's making my life suck. And Lianne's too. God bless you Lianne.
School was fun today, as usual. Park is ultimate (Y). Wenyu is freaking retarded =D So's Weehao. And JoshuaChia. Along with the rest of the class -.- Guys stop bullying us girls ok? Good boys.
Eventful yesterday, especially the time in the canteen with someone sitting directly behind and a whole lot of others staring at that someone, and rachel cam-whoring away -.- And Nicky Ong had to get me screwed AGAIN ("eh that's Charlene!"). He's really nice at times but sometimes he just makes me go raurrrrrr. Was all emo-shit, flunked two tests which happen to be my best subject, eyes were really droopy and was suffering from pee-em-ess.
Eff lah. I don't even feel like blogging about events today. I just feel like ranting.
Let's see the emo rate tomorrow. If I yell at Nathan or Engwei for not paying funds (Zhunwen is excused since he hasn't been coming to school), I'm really sorry for the raging hormones.
I miss lin. Wonder how she's doing.
Gor you're the best still. Am and will be missing you truckloads. Love ya <3
CHARLENE! posted it up.
