So do you know where to draw the line?
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 9:39 PM
Eyecandies.
Infatuations.
Love.
Boyfriend.
Guy friends.
Poor girl's really confused. I'm usually the last person people come to for words of wisdom, not regarding this issue. Wouldn't gor be a better source of advice? Or maybe she needed a girl's take on that?
I'm a noob at this =/ I'll try my best though.
-hugs- When things don't work out, the girlfriend power kicks in!
ANYWAYYY.....
Angsting away myself, not over male beings, but over the series of events that happened. Got pangseh-ed over the weekend =( but that's trivial. The other trivial thing worth blogging about -- polo match! RJ won (: At least I have ONE reason to smile.
And this morning a whole din of, I also don't know how to say it.
Life throws you the hardest decision. So far, I have to say, I still can't decide if 2007 was the best or worst year of my life. So many bad things have happened, and things got downhill from there.
But then again I went way up up up the hill at the beginning of the year, from making new friends to treasuring the old mates, re-bonding with the seniors (: It wasn't a surprise all these crap happened, afterall what goes up must come down, right?
But then it plunged. I'm angry over nothing, disappointed with myself for something not my fault, and desperately looking for people to blame. And when I can't seem to find any, I feel like a total loser. "I will not give up hope even at the very last minute" does not seem to hold anymore. Everything's more or less decided, final. Who am I to oppose?
I do admit I tend to be biased and point fingers at some certain-people. I'm not being fair, but at this point in time, I don't give a damn about fairness and objectivity. I'm one-sided and will continue to lean that side. You can't force me to change my loyalties after sticking with him (them) for 4 years to come.
Maybe I wouldn't be feeling as grouchy and rawr-ry (?) over this entire thing if my hopes weren't high in the first place. Everyone knows the impact of dropping something from a higher altitude will cause it to be greater greater.
I won't lie and say I'm not affected by it. I choose not to show it, because firstly it wouldn't make a difference to the outcome if I did, secondly I don't want to blow the whole issue up and thirdly, I don't need the sympathy people around me have to offer. True enough it helps to know that people around you feel sorry for the actually-not-so-pitiful plight you're in, but to me it isn't necessary to conjure such feelings.
No tears were shed, because crying is a weakness. To others it might be a way to overcome a weakness, but tears are a nono for me. I don't need no sympathy, and I definitly do not want people around me crying only because I did.
And finally, to those who read this post, no hard feelings are harboured I promise. I don't feel unfairly treated, because we both deserved equal chances at this. If it were the other way round, I wouldn't have felt good about it either.
The reason this post is up (I think) is because of the whiney inner self that has to get this out somewhere, and mainly because I can't and don't want to subject a poor soul to all these rantings of a teenage girl who seeks pity from, wherever I guess. Either it's politically offensive to someone, or it might not be much interest to another.
Whatever it is, just, don't be too bothered reading this. I'm pretty much alright and if things start to go haywire for me (unlikely) I will turn to help.
Sometimes a big hug is all that's needed.
Love you girls. And guys. And the screwed up ankle which I think could be considered the basis of this entire angsty post. Any sarcasm detected is probably not intentional, ok? (:
CHARLENE! posted it up.
